This isn't one of those "startup is hard but worth it" posts.
This is about the stuff they don't put in the blog posts and Twitter threads.
The things that surprised me. The things that surprised the founders I've worked with.
If you're thinking about starting a company, you should know what you're getting into.
The Loneliness
Starting a company is lonely.
Not "alone in a coffee shop" lonely. Existential lonely.
Your friends have 9-to-5 jobs. They don't understand why you're working weekends. They don't get the pressure. They can't help with the decisions.
Your co-founder (if you have one) is in the same boat. You can't both be falling apart at the same time. Someone has to hold it together.
Your family wants you to be happy. They're worried when you're stressed. They don't know what to say.
And your investors? They have 50 other companies. They care, but not the way you need someone to care.
The loneliness doesn't go away. You just get better at living with it.
The Self-Doubt
Every founder I've ever met has felt like a fraud.
Not "sometimes." All the time.
- "What if I'm not good enough?"
- "What if they find out I don't know what I'm doing?"
- "What if this was a terrible idea?"
The self-doubt doesn't disappear when you raise money. It doesn't disappear when you get users. It doesn't disappear when you make revenue.
It just becomes a background noise you learn to ignore.
The secret: Everyone feels this way. Even the "successful" founders. Even the ones who seem confident.
The difference between those who succeed and those who don't isn't confidence. It's the willingness to act despite the doubt.
The Rejection
You'll hear "no" more than you've ever heard it before.
- Investors will say no.
- Customers will say no.
- Potential partners will say no.
- Job candidates will say no.
- Journalists will say no.
- Even your friends will say no to ideas you think are great.
And each "no" feels personal. Because you're putting yourself out there. You're vulnerable.
You have to develop a thick skin. Not so thick that you stop caring. Just thick enough to keep going.
The Uncertainty
You'll never have enough information.
Should you pivot? Should you keep going? Should you raise money? Should you hire?
There's no signpost. No definitive answer. No magic number that tells you what to do.
You make decisions with incomplete information. You live with ambiguity. You accept that you'll never be 100% sure.
And then you move forward anyway.
The Money Stress
Startups burn money. That's the model.
But it doesn't make it easier to watch your bank account drain. To see the runway getting shorter. To know that your personal savings is on the line.
The money stress is real. It affects your sleep. Your relationships. Your health.
And there's no easy fix. You just have to manage it. Find ways to reduce burn. Build revenue faster. Ask for help when you need it.
The Failure
Most startups fail. The statistics are brutal.
But here's what they don't tell you: failure isn't the end. It's a data point.
- You'll learn more from your failures than your successes
- You'll meet people who respect you for trying
- You'll have stories to tell
- You'll be better positioned for your next venture
The fear of failure keeps people from starting. But failure is survivable. It's not fun, but it's survivable.
The Health Cost
Working 80 hours a week takes a toll.
- You stop exercising
- You eat whatever's convenient
- You don't see your friends
- You don't sleep enough
- Your mental health suffers
And the worst part: you think it's temporary. "Once we launch..." "Once we raise..." "Once we hit product-market fit..."
It keeps being temporary. Until your body forces you to stop.
Take care of yourself. Really. Take care of yourself.
The Relationship Strain
Your relationships will change.
Your partner will see you stressed, absent, preoccupied. They won't always understand.
Your friends will drift away. You don't have time. You don't have energy. You're not fun anymore.
Your family will worry. They won't know how to help.
Building a startup costs more than money. It costs relationships.
Some relationships won't survive. That's hard. But some will become stronger. The ones that matter will find a way.
The Unrealistic Expectations
Everyone told me to "follow my passion" and "build something I care about."
They didn't tell me that passion doesn't make the hard days easier. They didn't tell me that caring deeply means the setbacks hurt more.
They didn't tell me that success takes years, not months. That overnight successes usually have years of hidden work.
They painted a rosy picture. The reality is harder, messier, and more exhausting.
But here's the thing: they also didn't tell me how rewarding it would be. How it would change me. How I'd learn about myself in ways I never could have imagined.
What Gets You Through
If everything is so hard, why do people keep doing it?
Purpose
You're working on something that matters to you. Something you believe in. That purpose gets you out of bed.
Autonomy
You're in control. No boss. No corporate politics. You make the decisions. You live with the consequences. But you own it.
Growth
Every day is a learning day. You're stretched. You're challenged. You're becoming more capable.
Impact
You might actually change something. Build something that helps people. Make a difference. That's worth something.
Community
Other founders understand. They share the struggle. You find your people.
What I'd Tell My Younger Self
If I could go back to before I started, I'd say:
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It's harder than you think. Lower your expectations, then lower them again.
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It's worth it. Not because of the money or the fame. But because of who you become.
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You're not alone. Find other founders. Build a community. Don't do this alone.
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Take care of yourself. The startup will be here tomorrow. Your health might not be.
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The doubt doesn't go away. You just get better at acting despite it.
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Done is better than perfect. Ship it. Learn from it. Move on.
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Focus on the problem. Not the solution, not the features, not the tech. The problem you're solving for your customers.
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Cash is oxygen. Don't run out.
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Trust your instincts. You know more than you think.
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Enjoy the journey. It goes fast.
The Bottom Line
Building a startup is the hardest thing I've ever done. The hardest thing most founders have ever done.
It's lonely, uncertain, stressful, and often unrewarding.
But it's also exhilarating, transformative, meaningful, and occasionally magical.
No one should do this alone. No one should go in blind. No one should be surprised by the reality.
Now you know. The rest is up to you.
Need Someone Who Gets It?
At Startupbricks, we've walked the founder path. We understand the struggles—the loneliness, the doubt, the uncertainty. Whether you need:
- Someone to talk to who gets it
- Practical help with your challenges
- A community of founders
- Guidance on the hard decisions
We're here. Let's connect.